Long Time Memory – Ah Ma // Singapore Memory Project

“Two half boil eggs and Yeo’s bottled Soya Bean drink please!” I grinned with my child-likeness.
But I would have Prawn Noodles Dry most of my mornings, and yes…Yeo’s bottled Soya Bean drink, one of the best times i had with her.

There were times we’d hold hands and walk down stores of Parkway Parade Shopping Centre, shopping for her stuff.
Gold jewelleries were her favorite past time but not mine. Well, sometimes it just felt good looking at her scanning through those gold-plated accessories. Sitting down with her and enjoying our excursions as we spent those evenings together.

I hate waking up on weekends, even before there was a hint of light in the sky! Morning marketing were dreadful, not forgetting those mornings were greeted by sight of throat cutting…i mean live chicken(with feathers intact), fishy smell, and the water marks and stinking smell which splashed onto the back of my claves. Yeah, when slippers slapped onto wet ground soaked with fish blood and liquid from thawed pork and melting ice flowing from seafood and meats. Well, it’ll always be rewarded with good food after.

Gradually as we shifted to another estate, away from one another, we meet less often.
Ah Ma took care of me during my Kindergarten days till I graduate from Primary school. My Mom was working shift work those days, so most of my time were spent with Ah Ma’s place.

Brief conversations and occasional outings happened when I visit her.
I’ve found new friends and a life of my own…i felt the need to venture…
She wished me well and slided in health.

She is my beloved Granny…

Ah Ma passed away at 6 plus this morning.
She used to be chubby and pink became thin and frail, mouth covered with oxygen mask aid.
Tubes and syringes on both those skinny hands.
When i looked at Ah Ma,

‘Ah boy…are you doing well in your work? You must be good boy and take care of yourself. Ah Ma old already, don’t know when I’ll leave. Please be Guai guai hor.’

‘When Ah Ma gets better, Ah Ma bring you to eat ok?’

‘Ah Boy, if you do not have enough money, come to Ah Ma…I may not have a lot, but i can at least give you a bit.’

‘Ah Boy ah, why you so long didn’t come to see Ah Ma…’

These words of hers went deep into my heart and brought it back to life.
In state of comatose, her words resounded in me…my tears flowed as it kept speaking to me.
My Ah Ma can no longer open her eyes seeing me by her side. She could no longer talk, only to use her mouth to breath…to keep herself alive.

It hurts to see the one i love suffering this way.
It hurts to realize those venturing process have caused so much regrets.
I may have self-pity and thought about myself.
But Ah Ma truly deserves something better from me.
I couldn’t do much, but I didn’t do any at all….only regrets I have.

It was most difficult seeing Mah Mah lying on the ward bed unable to reply me anymore.
My dearest Ma Ma left us with her last breath. One of the best mom and granny I’ve encountered. I kissed her on her forehead twice….

‘Now we’ve to arrange to bring her home’ my uncles discussed with solemness in their voice, threatening to break into tears anytime.
Yes Ma Ma is coming home, but Ma is no longer going to talk and reply to me.
Mah will no longer be around. Tears fell again.
What a grieving moment.

I believe she has went to be with the Lord.
I’m glad that God has taken her away with peace and very little struggle.
Thank You Jesus,
Thank God for such grace.
Thank God for Faith…she is being very patient with me and done many untold things for me, pulling through this difficult time.

‘Ah Boy ah, why you so long didn’t come to see Ah Ma…’

‘Here i am Ah Mah…and I’m not going anywhere, just to stay here with you.’


A tribute to my granny, may we meet again.


This entry from 4/16/05 was written and posted about the time my grandmother passed away. Re-posted from my other private blog in support of singaporememory.sg



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